When we read about prayer in the Bible, sometimes it can feel like we're getting conflicting messages. In one place we're told if we ask for anything in His name we'll get it, but later we're told we only receive what we ask if it’s according to His will. Then we're told we don't get what we ask for because we ask with wrong motives, but we also don't get what we want because we don’t ask at all. We’re reminded that prayer is powerful and accomplishes much, yet when the Apostle Paul asked for his “thorn” to be removed, his request was denied. A lot is going on here, so let's think about it.
For starters, sometimes prayer is downright unnecessary. If God has already promised or told us something, we don’t need to pray about it. I never ask Him to be with me because as a follower of Jesus, He's already said He is. I never ask God to love me because He’s already assured me He does. I never invite God into my presence because He was here long before I was. I never ask God to forgive me because He’s already guaranteed me He has.
Now this might create tension for some, but don’t get lost in the sauce. I fully expect God to do exactly what He's said He will, so rather than asking I simply thank Him for being true to His word. This turns me into a grateful, faith-filled person who lives in the joy of who He is.
Then there are times when our prayers don't matter because God in His sovereignty has already determined what He's going to do. The cross was a foregone conclusion, as is the death of every person. God has already determined His will and our prayers won't change it.
But then there are times when our prayers make a huge difference. Many years ago after reading James 4:2, "You don't have because You don't ask," I made the decision to ask all the time for things He hadn't already promised. I don't worry about whether it's God's will or if my motives are right: I just ask. I never want to get to heaven and hear God say, “I would have loved to have given you what you wanted, but you just never asked!" So, I ask.
I asked God for a boy when Joy and I were thinking of having children, and sure enough, we had a boy. I then asked God for another boy and we had a boy. But when Joy was pregnant for the third time I realized I hadn't asked God for what I wanted, which was a girl. So I asked.
Now you may be thinking, "Come on, she was already pregnant. Do you really think God would change the gender months into pregnancy?" I don't know; it didn't matter. I just knew I never wanted God to say I didn't have because I didn't ask. We had a girl.
Here's what we can expect from God when it comes to prayer. First of all, we can expect Him to listen. Even if He already knows what He's going to do, He still loves to hear our voices. He loves that we trust Him enough to include Him in our decisions. Engaging with God in prayer is a huge relationship builder.
Secondly, there's usually no way we can know for sure if our prayers fall into the category of things God has already set in stone or things He's ready and willing to answer if we only ask. That's why it's good to make our requests with great boldness and leave the outcome to Him.
We're not entitled to get whatever we ask for, and thinking we are can lead to disappointment and bitterness. We are entitled to ask Him whatever we want because that's what children do, but the outcome is up to Him.
Above all, we must never forget that His answers—both yes and no—are always connected to the bigger part He is writing for us in His story. In God we trust.